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Howdy Hi + Some Thoughts

Hi Lovies. It was a quiet couple of days around here as I took a bit of a self imposed blogging break — partially because with the short week, everything seemed crammed in to the four days, but partially because I was also suffering from a severe case of writer’s block. Or maybe “creative” block is more appropriate. I just couldn’t put a post together to save my life.

Yesterday, I spent a good part of the day really cleaning our home top to bottom, and hopefully, that’s cleared some of the cobwebs out of my head as well. This is always a strange time of year for me. Though I relish the fun sense of anticipation autumn can bring — that same feeling I had when I was a school girl — I also start to look ahead to the holidays and the new year. These days, I’m finding that with every passing birthday, when I realize another year is about to be gone, I start wondering whether I’m headed in the right direction…or to be more accurate, where I’m going at all. Does that make sense? We all have peaks and valleys of course, and I would say the last few weeks I’ve been in one of my characteristic valleys where I feel unsatisfied with what’s happening in my life, but not wholly sure what I should do about it.

Joe and I had a conversation Friday night about all this, how all of a sudden “the age” is creeping up on us and before you know it, we’ll be in our early thirties wondering what happened and where the years went. Lately, there are days when I look at him and realize that his face has begun to age ever so slightly, and that he’s no longer the 18 year old kid I met nearly a decade ago. It’s strange.

I have always tried to subscribe to the idea of living in the moment and making every attempt to enjoy the now, but it feels increasingly harder when one day I think I’ll wake up and realize I’ve made my path. People always say we can change our course at any time, but I suspect the older we are, the harder it is.

“You’re hitting your quarter-life crisis!” Joe said to me the other night. “Impossible,” I replied, “Don’t you remember? I already had it a few years ago.”

They should really re-name it the decade-long crisis. Does it really get easier in your thirties? If so, bring it on!

There’s a chorus from a very old Incubus song that’s been floating around in my head the last few days. Anyone remember this?

Will I ever get to where it is that I am going?
Will I ever follow through with what I… with what I have planned?
I guess it’s possible that I have been a bit distracted,
and the directions for me are a lot less in demand.
Will I ever get to where I’m going?
If I do, will I know when I’m there?
If the wind blew me in the right direction
would I even care?

{Image Credit: Dress, Design & Decor}

2 Responses

  1. I don’t really know any of the answers, but I am familiar with how you’re feeling. Off and on I’ve been wondering a lot of same things. If you ever figure anything out, please let me know. :-)

  2. Agreed. I think most people at our age still haven’t figured things out, but it’s so easy to get stuck on a particular path. The hardest part is that it’s no longer as simple as taking a new class or walking to the career center to look up new internships to discover what your next step will be. I miss those days…

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